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Life with Two Boys and Winter Water Factory

Most of the time when people see me out and about with my two boys they say “Oh, you have your hands full!”  I must admit, they are right.  Having two kids is a big jump from one, anyone will agree I’m sure.  But having two boys is a whole other ball game.  Other moms I talk to with boys can relate.  Don’t get me wrong, girls can be tough too I’m sure, and it of course depends on the child.  But my two are full of tons of energy and wildness which makes life with two boys very interesting.

Photos by Nea Nabayan

Clothing by Winter Water Factory

Every day is an adventure with these two.  Court is now three, and well, he’s definitely a three-nager.  He loves to dress up and pretend, his imagination is endless.  Most days we play super heroes, he never tires of it.  There is a different costume he is obsessed with and won’t leave the house without every day, right now it’s Spider Man.  

His energy seems to never run out!  I’m embarrassed to admit, but sometimes, (like last night) he doesn’t fall asleep till around 10pm.  He’s our little energizer bunny!!  He loves life fully and whenever I ask “what do you want to do today” I get the same answer – “PLAY!”  Court is strong willed and determined in everything he does.  Which also makes for some interesting days, and sometimes tantrums.  My husband and I are trying to manage those as they come, but wow, they can really turn you upside down!

With all of the craziness, he’s also extremely loving…  That’s something most boy moms I know say.  Yes they are wild and crazy, but boy do they love hard.  I get lots of hugs, even if they do start as tackles, and kisses.  So in that way, life with two boys can be pretty amazing.  Last night he told me I was his favorite person to play with, and the cuddles and “I love you”‘s are abundant.  He still asks me to carry him to bed, and sometimes I have both of them in my arms at once.   This is not easy going up and down stairs considering I found out today he weighs 37 lbs and Cruz has to be around 20!  

I’m trying to soak in all of the good stuff so it out-weighs the hard toddler stuff.  Plus, if I can pocket it all up and have it stored in my memory it will help dealing with him when he’s a teenager and doesn’t want anything to do with me.  Am I the only mom who thinks about things like that?  I think about my sons as adults and how I won’t be able to hug and kiss them like I do now, it’s depressing… Maybe I’m a weirdo, haha!

Now Cruz… Cruz started out as such a mellow guy, and well, he’s not!  I thought, wow, this time I got an easy one!  No, this guy is such a love but he’s busy like his brother.  I guess it may be a little bit of monkey see, monkey do over here.  He is very mobile, crawling and walking along everything.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he started walking within the next month or so.  He will be 9 months next week!  Court started walking at 9 months too…  I don’t wish early walkers on anyone!

He’s at the age where everything is going in his mouth, so we have to be extra careful!  Big brother has an affinity for legos, which is just awesome (emoji eye roll).  Cruz still doesn’t sleep through the night, however I’m still breastfeeding him… Maybe that’s why, but both of my boys weren’t good sleepers ever.  The one thing Cruz is doing well at?!  Eating!  Court is still tough with eating, Cruz however loves it!  That has been a relief and lots of fun to see him try new foods and actually like them!

Another Cruz thing… He gives hugs!!  Like really good and long ones, they are the best!  Plus, can you believe that blonde hair?!  Like what in the world?!

Cruz loves his brother so intensely, it’s amazing to see the way he looks in awe at him.  I can’t wait till they are big enough to play together!!  We did their first bath together the other night, mostly because I can’t bathe Court without Cruz getting into some type of trouble while I do!  It’s so fun to see them interact with each other, I can only imagine the type of trouble these two will cause… They are both just too smart for their own good.

When I was young I used to say that I only wanted boys – two boys to be exact.  I don’t know why I said that, maybe because I was a bit of a tomboy.  I know I thought life with two boys would be fun, which it definitely is!  I’ve been saying I want more… I’m not so sure these days.  Life with these two is keeping me awfully busy!  I love the idea of adding a girl to our tribe, but I would probably have another boy.  Which in all honesty, I wouldn’t be upset about.

Another great thing about having two boys is making them wear matching outfits, haha!  This is something I NEVER thought I’d get excited about.  Now I know why my mom did it to my sister and I, it’s addicting!  Winter Water Factory has been one of my favorite brands for my boys, even when Court was a baby.  

They have the best prints, great boy and girl options, and it’s all made in the US.  Their prints are like amazing art work that I would have in my home, I love them!  They even make cute dresses for moms, so I can get in on the fun too!  Everything is an organic cotton and it’s so yummy and durable.  They wash well and stay in great condition wear after wear.  I can’t recommend them enough!

 To sum it up, with all of the craziness, adventuring with these two is my favorite thing ever.  Add in their daddy and it’s even better.  Life with two boys seems hectic now, and I’m sure it will get even crazier.  I think the lack of sleep is tough these days, but I manage!  I’m excited for new adventures with them and to watch them grow.  Seeing our little one’s minds and personalities develop is just the best, I am lucky I get to watch these two!

xx

Jacquelyn

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By on May 18, 2017 in BEIJINHOS, BEIJINHOS STYLE, FAMILY, KIDS, LIFESTYLE, REAL TALK

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Real Talk – The Latest

It’s been a while since we have done a real talk post, so today is just that.  There have been a lot of changes in all of our lives this past year.  We wanted to let you know the latest with each of us and check in with you.  Each of our little families have a lot going on, so keep reading to find out more!

Abby

Hi, friends, Abby here! My goodness, a lot has occurred in my life in the past six months. About a year ago, my husband approached me with the crazy idea to sell our home in San Jose and move up north to the Sacramento area.  This idea was coming from Mr. San Jose.  A nickname that our family and friends call my husband.  Anytime we go anywhere; there will be someone my husband knows.  When we went to Cabo for our honeymoon in 2010, he ran into two people he knew.   My first reaction was NOT happening.  No way was I going to uproot my two kids and move them where we would have no friends or family.  We live so near to some of our family, how can we go somewhere where we would have no one near us?   Needless to say, I shut that idea down fast. But he knew my weakness by showing me the custom homes.  Damnit!  He knows me too well.  Pushing this idea for several months, I finally went with him to see the model homes.  My tune had changed, and before I knew it… the for sale sign was up. This was just the easy part.

We then moved into my parent’s house, and my husband landed a great job in Sacramento.  My daughter is in 1st grade, and we couldn’t pull her out of school.  So for the past four months, I have been staying at my parents with the two little ones.  We get to see daddy for about 36 hours on the weekends.  Just that small amount of time with him has been hard for us.  We started doing family date nights when dad gets into town on Friday nights.  Something to look forward to during the week, and its a constant plan and normalcy for the kids.  It has been a hard life adjustment for us, particularly for myself.  Pretty much a single parent is some hard shit, to be honest.  You have to keep it together during this life change and show no sadness or frustration in front of the kids.  I just have to keep saying to myself, only a couple more months to go.  Abby, this will all be worth it in the end.  Will it?  Was all this worth it?  Are my kids going to transfer well to a new school and make friends?  A lot of uncertainty and the unknown has filled my head the past couple months.  I’m a worry wart!  But, I’m staying positive and very much looking forward to June. Summer can’t come soon enough for us!  I do have to say that I’m beyond excited to decorate and design our new home.  So many ideas, and can’t wait to see how it comes all together.  In the meantime, if you are local to the Rocklin area, let’s be friends!

Jacquelyn

Hey all!  So…. 2016 was a big year for the Kazas family!  Obviously, the best part of 2016 was welcoming our son Cruz!!  Adding another baby to the mix obviously makes things crazier but we had some other things going on too…  My husband Nate finally landed a job he had been working towards as a medical device sales rep at the beginning of last year.  We were beyond excited and I am still beyond proud of him.  Since then he has gotten promoted, faster than anyone in his division ever has, yes I’m bragging and I don’t care, ha!  The first year of his job was all about him dedicating all of his energy and time, which meant being on call 24/7.  This wasn’t only a sacrifice for him but for our family as well.  It’s always especially hard since we don’t have any family nearby to help us out, although we are very lucky with how often our parents visit to help us.  There I was super pregnant with a wild 2 year old spending most days and nights solo.  It got especially hard when 2 weeks before my due date he had to go to NYC for work for 10 days…. That was definitely NOT easy!  Thank god for my Mom helping out!  Needless to say, we got through that tough year and this year is looking bright!

Like I said, Nate was promoted and he’s doing really well!  He’s still gone quite a bit, but I’m being super mom holding down the fort as much as I can.  A lot of days that means doing it all – going to the grocery store with two kids, going to the park with two kids and a dog, having dinner ready, bathing both kids, putting both kids to sleep, you get where I’m going with this…  But on the really exciting front, we bought our first home!!!  We just closed escrow a few weeks ago and now we are starting to do a little bit of remodeling.  We’re working on the kitchen and a few other small things, the rest we will have to work on slowly but surely.  We are very excited to start this new chapter, our new house is about 5 miles from our current home, not too far, but still a change.  We’ll miss our amazing neighbors and being able to walk to the beach, but our new house is on a really family friendly street right next to a park and I know our boys will love it!  Right now if I’m being honest, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed with all of the home stuff, but I know it will all work out and I’m incredibly excited to share it with you!  Stay tuned…

Leah

Hey there!  Well, I don’t have as much change going on these days other than the fact of balancing life with 3 kids, which doesn’t seem that hard when you think of it but factor in 2 of them being under 2!  Isla just turned 20 months a few weeks ago and Henry 6 months.  I know it should get easier as they get older but right now it’s all hands on deck.  I’m lucky my husband is able to work from home a lot, so he helps me!!  There are times when I’m alone with all three of them and it’s no joke!! My daughter Edie is turning 5 soon and she is a big help to mommy and daddy with the babies, but she is a little girl herself that needs attention and time, so it all has to be taken in and divided up equally right??  Haha let’s just say I live a life of exhaustion, but I guess I don’t harp on that as much because these little beings show me what life is all about everyday and I’m so beyond grateful for them!!

The other thing that is exciting is that I’m busy with Beijos!!  Us Beijos gals put in a collaborative effort in our own way and time to make it what it is and I’m super proud of what it’s become and growing to be.  I love all of our clients, and can’t wait for their events to come to fruition this year and of course share them with you all!!  Sorry I don’t have more to dish but hey life is steady and good!

More to come!!  Head to our Instagram for 5 fun facts about each of us today!

xx

Beijos

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By on February 17, 2017 in MEET THE BEIJOS GALS, REAL TALK

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Real Talk – Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding has become a hot topic, and today we are doing some real talk on it.  As a mother you hear many different opinions on many different things but breastfeeding is always one of them.  Every mama has their own experience and way of doing things and Leah and I are perfect examples of that.  We each have had completely different experiences with breastfeeding and we wanted to share them with you.

 The funny thing is, we both have felt pressured or ridiculed for our experiences.  This is something that moms face day in and day out.  Leah and I wanted to share our own experience and say that no matter what you do, as long as you’re trying your best, you’re doing ok!  Us moms need to stick together and support each other because let’s face it, our job isn’t easy and it’s probably the most scrutinized.

So here are each of our stories and some great breastfeeding products we recommend along the way!  We’d love to keep this conversation going and hear what you have to say on the subject and your experience.

Photos of Jacquelyn by Megan Welker


Jacquelyn

I remember being pregnant with Court and being nervous if I would be able to breastfeed.  I already felt the pressure then with my first baby on the way.  My friends had varied experiences and I remember thinking, I just want to try and get to 6 months!  That was my goal!!  Some of my friends had to supplement and I had a few friends of friends who nursed for a really long time. At the time I thought, ok, that’s weird…  I remember another friend saying “if they can ask for it, then you’ve gotta stop”, haha…  Little did I know how my breastfeeding experience would go.

– Jacquelyn is wearing a nursing sweater by BOOB

When I had Court I found that I sort of had a gift for this breastfeeding thing!  I produced A LOT of milk, like a lot a lot!!  I was able to pump and store a good amount of milk, and was even able to donate it to a friend who couldn’t nurse her baby and to my local hospital.  But best of all, I was able to nurse Court and feed him without having to supplement.  Court grew and grew, and I still find it amazing that he was completely nourished by me!

Another fun fact… I loved to breastfeed!  That was something I had always heard mixed feelings on from other friends.  But I personally loved it.  It was my special time with my baby and the time I felt the most connected with him.  When we had company over I loved sneaking away for some quiet time with Court.  And the way your baby touches your face while you breastfeed them, is there really anything better?!

– Jacquelyn’ favorite nursing bra is by Bravado Designs and you can find it here

Time passed and I surpassed my 6 month goal.  Then a year hit, my doctor was so proud of me for continuing to breastfeed for that long.  I thought I would stop then, but Court still wanted to nurse!  Who was I to deny my son this amazing super food if I had the capability to give it to him?  I’ll be honest, it wasn’t always easy.  As many of you know breastfeeding can be hard and it’s a selfless act.  We give up our bodies for 9 long months being pregnant and continue to do so when we breastfeed.  But in a completely selfish way, I still loved having this connection so we kept it up.

– Jacquelyn is using a nursing pillow cover by Woolf with Me

I breastfed Court till I became pregnant with Cruz.  So for 21 long months I fed that little guy and don’t regret it one bit.  There were good times; like how he barely ever got sick and still hardly ever gets sick which I credit to breastfeeding and our amazing bonding time.  And there were bad times; don’t get me started on the biting phase, and weaning wasn’t easy and broke my heart.  My dad even joked sometimes “are you going to be breastfeeding him at his high school graduation” haha!

Speaking of the jokes, I heard a lot different opinions about my breastfeeding… Some positive but a lot negative.  Luckily I can say that I’m the type of person that doesn’t really care what others think… Don’t get me wrong, I definitely can be sensitive, but in this case I was so confident in my decision that it didn’t matter.  But I did get my fair share of eye rolls and looks of complete shock.  Lots of jokes were made about it from family, friends and strangers.

But in the end I’m really proud of myself for nursing Court that long.  Yes, he was almost 2, and yes he could ask for it, yes he would even pick which boob he wanted, but in my heart and my mind he needed it.

– Jacquelyn is wearing a nursing tank and leggings by BOOB

When I became pregnant with Cruz I again worried, would it be as easy this time?  Would Cruz latch quickly and feed as well?  Would I produce as much?  Did Court suck me dry?  Haha… Lots of questions popped into my mind.  Luckily we haven’t had any hiccups and Cruz is nursing well and my milk is still coming in strong again.  Ultimately I did what worked for me and what was best for my situation.  I have no judgements if someone can’t nurse as long or can’t nurse at all!  Everyone has to do what is best for them, their family and their baby.

Breastfeeding is such a personal part of being a mom and it’s such a short part of it too.  Why set judgement or have stress on something that in the long run only defines such a short time of your journey as a mom?  My advice is to see how it goes and make any adjustments as needed but don’t stress yourself out over not having enough or having too much.  As long as you give that baby love and nourish them however you need to it will all work out!


Leah Carriger

When I first got prego with my first Edie back in 2011, I knew I wanted to breastfeed…hands down that’s what was happening.  I never really thought about the struggles that came with it for some reason.  She was born almost 6 weeks early and that’s when the ball dropped on me.  Her birth was traumatic and very stressful.  I had her at 10:15 in the evening and was so sick after I had her.  I remember them wheeling me back up to my room and her staying in her little incubator down in the NICU.  The next thing I remember is waking up in my room and telling my hubby we needed to go down so I could breastfeed her!!  I was frantic.  When I got down there the nurses had already fed her formula and I was upset that they didn’t ask me first. I get it… there was a lot going on and at the moment they were doing what was best for her, but again, it wasn’t part of the plan.  I nursed her as much as could the next 10 days, but it was so difficult because she was in the NICU and I had to pump, which was also depressing.  I could see the amount of milk I was producing and it was such a little amount.  Now I look back I think about how hard I was on myself.  I was a brand new mom, learning it all for the very first time and super stressed that my new little babe was in the NICU.  Stressed I wasn’t producing enough milk for her, and pumping never helped the situation.  After about 2 months of what seemed like killing myself over it, breast feeding her for so long and then supplementing because she was still hungry, I literally felt like I was feeding her 24/7!!  I finally threw in the towel, and after I did I felt so much better.  I was harboring so much guilt for not being able to feed her, I felt like I failed.  But I finally felt like it was ok…I was still a good mommy and I was doing the best I could.

– Leah’s pajamas are by BOOB

Fast forward to my second and It was a little better since I knew what I was getting into, although I still had high hopes for myself.  A similar situation happened with Isla and she had to be in the NICU as well, but only for 3 days. This time around I was a little better prepared with the pumping and making sure I woke up every 3 hours to make a trip down to the NICU so I could feed her.  This time I also got a lactation nurse, which was a good refresher.  Then we got home and that night she wouldn’t stop screaming.  My husband suggested that she was probably hungry and I didn’t even think about that because I had been feeding her a lot!  But sure enough, I made her a bottle and she calmed down.  Cue the mom guilt again, but this time it wasn’t as intense.  I was still determined to go longer than I did with Edie.  I was definitely more relaxed and not as hard on myself.

– Leah’s nursing essential is this nursing tank by Bravado Designs you can layer under anything –

Then my experience with this little guy was different because fortunately he didn’t have to be in the NICU and it made a world of difference having him in my room with me.  He nursed for the first four days and we bonded perfectly.  On the 4th day though, the nurse suggested I give him formula because he was losing so much weight.  It was definitely disheartening, but it was ok.  Supplementing was all I knew.  I was still going to breastfeed him as much as I could and I was ok with that and so was he.

– Leah is wearing leggings by BOOB

For me it wasn’t so much the judgement, as it was me being hard on myself.  I couldn’t help it at first.  I needed to experience the struggle for me to be able to look back and see the bigger picture.  I did the best that I could and I was proud of myself.  I still bonded beautifully with each of my littles even though it was more through bottle feeding than breastfeeding.

My advise it just to relax.  It’s so hard when you have a baby and the pressure is intense, but just slow down and take in the moment of the miracle that was just created.  That is by far one of the best things life can offer.

Hope you got something out of this personal post… As parents we are all trying to do our best and none of us want to feel stressed or judged at such a special time.  Breastfeeding or feeding your baby can be amazing no matter what.  We wish all of you mamas and mamas to be the best experience that is perfect for you.

xx

Jacquelyn

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By on January 16, 2017 in BABY SPOTLIGHT, MATERNITY, PREGNANCY, REAL TALK

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Real Talk – Self Care

With the start of the new year I, along with everyone else, set goals for myself.  This year something that is especially important to me is self care.  I often find as a mother and a wife that I put myself last. Usually my family, my work and about everything else comes first.  That’s why this year I really want to put an emphasis on doing things for myself and taking care of myself.  I reached out to my friend Cassidy Freitas, a licensed marriage and family therapist, who practices in San Diego, CA to discuss this subject.  Cassidy specialties include: anxiety and depression, illness adjustment, life transitions, loss, couple/relational issues, child life/parenting, and perinatal mental health.  Read below for her brilliant and insightful essay regarding a mother’s relationship with self care.

Self-Care and the Millennial Mother
by Cassidy Freitas

I was recently having a discussion with my grandmother and mother about mothering.  My grandmother was a huge part of my childhood as we were lucky enough to grow up down the street from her. As a child I never experienced either of them being spread too thin, but, were they? Did they ever find time for personal projects and self-care amidst child-rearing? My grandmother was a homemaker and my mother an attorney turned judge, so I felt that they could give me a broad perspective from their own experiences.  We discussed how the social context of motherhood has evolved over the decades. My grandmother shared that she wished she had been encouraged to pursue more education and a career, but that she looked back fondly on her years at home with young children.  While she did not recall the difficult times as well as the good, she did recall a lack of self-care and self-attention during those child-rearing years. I was shocked to hear my mom talk about how spread thin she felt during those earlier years, she had hid it so well.  We then talked about the privileges and pressures of millennial mothering that comes with having information at your fingertips. I think our generation can easily suffer from a case of acute information overload, leading to stress, anxiety, and even disconnection.  With the filtered squares of modern social media we can easily fall into the trap of doing more, being more, and expecting more. Within this context, it’s hard to see where self-care fits in.

While our society takes steps toward gender equality in education and the workforce, mothers are navigating the choices of how to divide their attention, time, and energy. On the topic of gender, if a man is asked to add something to his plate but he deems that he is too busy, he is likely to say no. If a woman is in the same position and asked to add one more thing to her plate, she is more likely to say yes. What often falls to the wayside is self-care, self-compassion, or just simple unscheduled space to refresh. In my private practice I will often ask my clients to take stock of their self-care activities. I’ve especially seen mothers have a difficult time naming the things that they do for themselves. I’ll pose the question, “how do you fill your own cup?” The “cup” is what I would consider your source of energy, joy, and compassion. What we often see is that they are filling everyone else’s cups while their own runs on empty. I’m amazed at the capacity of these women, to run so efficiently on fumes. Once we acknowledge how incredible their capacity is, but also unsustainable, we work to identify how they might begin to fill their cups.

While we begin the work of attuning to her needs, I like to explore her range of introversion and extroversion. Is she an introvert who needs alone time? An extrovert who needs to be around others? Following that assessment, we can begin to identify specific activities that will bring energy to her life. The point is to not just fill her schedule with even more things to do. Sometimes self-care looks like a scheduled massage, a pottery class, a child-less date with her partner, but sometimes it looks like a free afternoon. When choosing commitments in any area of life, I like to remind my clients (and myself) that saying yes to something is inevitably saying no to something else. Every time we want to say “yes,” we have to ask ourselves, am I willing to say no to that other thing? An overly scheduled week is a huge culprit when it comes to a lack of self-care. The New Year brings a fresh start, a metaphorical reset button. In 2017 I encourage you to explore what energizes you, to clear space in your schedule, and to discover ways to fill your cup. Like the air steward reminds us every flight we take, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first.


I wanted myself and my fellow Beijos ladies to create goals for ourselves for 2017 regarding self care.  Here is what we came up with…

Jacquelyn Kazas

In 2016 I welcomed my second son, adding to my other already wild and crazy 2.5 year old.  My husband also started a new career in medical device sales where he is on call 24/7 and I am on my own quite a bit.  Our family all lives in Northern California and comes down as much as they can to help, which is amazing, but it’s hard without the help.  Add that to owning and running my own business and I’m one busy gal!  I’ve noticed how little of time I give to myself and really wanted to focus a few of my 2017 goals on self care.  So many days go by where I’m so focused on meeting the needs of my family, which is obviously my first priority, but let’s face it – even the dog comes before me!  That’s why this year I’m really going to make an effort to focus more time on me and my needs, because I know it will make for a happier home.  I’m not going to try anything crazy, as I realize that’s completely unrealistic.  Let’s be honest, I’m not going to get that much time to myself!  But my goals for this next year are to do small things that I really love.  The list includes reading more books, going running more and to spend more time with my girlfriends.  All things that I did prior to being a mom regularly.  These may sound small and silly, but they are good medicine for this mama’s soul and I’m really hoping to make them happen!


 Abby Guido
2016 was a year I’m happy to say see ya later! It was an unexpected year filled with moments for my family that were not planned, and they truly tested our patience and tug on our emotions. Last year, I had a bad accident and ended up getting a concussion + some other issues that caused a lot of recovery time. It was truly a challenge for me personally that I couldn’t do as much as I use to do. I’m not the type that can just sit there and do nothing, so this was a hurdle for myself. In the back of my mind, I would stress out pondering, “Is this how it’s going to be forever?” This year, now that I’m almost 100% back, I’m hitting the ground running and determined to make this year a magical year for my family. 2016 also brought us the decision to sell our home of 6 years where our children grew up, pack it all up, and relocate to a new city we know nothing about. If you know me, this is going to be a significant challenge. I like to encircle myself with family and close friends, and we will have none of that there. My husband accepted a new job in Sacramento, and he is currently up there during the week. The past couple months have been just the three of us. I have had to tweak my expectations as a mother. I think this year, for myself, is to not expect perfection. I use to set myself high goals, and I realize now… well, it’s just not going to happen each time perfectly. I’m vowing to set goals that are realistic and to sit back and watch my little ones grow up instead. Setting realistic goals for myself will create a less stressful atmosphere for myself and my little ones. This is something we need in our lives right now.  Also, I have to set the goal of getting back on the getting in shape wagon. I have been notorious for getting on and off, off and on. I figured with the hubs gone during the week; I should have time for that once a day right? Let’s see if that will be a realistic goal, ha. A girl can dream right?

Leah Carriger

     First of all, I’m glad my friend and partner Jacquelyn asked me to talk about my goals for self care, because if she didn’t, sadly I most likely wouldn’t have been aware of them.  My family and I are in what you would call survival mode haha!  With 2 babies at home and a 4 year old going on 14 it’s a challenge everyday to take time out do things for anyone else let alone myself.  What I’ve noticed so far is that when I talk to people about my life situation they have this surprised look on their face, which always turns into a comment like “whoa, you have your hands full”.  And believe me I do, but I don’t want to look at it like that, it’s almost negative to me.  I see it as a precious time that I was given that I need to be present for, a time that I don’t get back and when I’m frustrated  I like to take a step back and think about how lucky I am to have such a crazy little life with my babies and husband.  This time will come and go and from what I’ve heard they are the golden years, the best years of being a parent.  With that said, I do believe that taking time out for myself to “re fuel” is a necessity for happy and healthy family all around, especially since mothers are usually the family managers.  It’s like what my husband always says…happy wife, happy life haha! It’s so true.  How am I going to do that this year?  The big one for me is starting to pencil in my “me” time so it actually happens.  Whether it’s going to get a facial, nails done, massage, getting in a good kick butt workout, or time with just the gals, time to myself with no kiddos is always a good little break.  Spending more time with my husband, just the two of us is also a top priority of mine.  It’s embarrassing to say how many times we went on dates last year, so again penciling in that time is necessary too!


Hope we have inspired you all to take more time for yourself and to set goals for self care in 2017!!

xx

Jacquelyn

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By on January 3, 2017 in REAL TALK

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Real Talk – My Scary Ultrasound

Our newest addition Cruz is now 6 weeks old and we are overwhelmed with love for him.  That love didn’t just begin though, the minute you find out you are pregnant that crazy love starts….  This real talk is a little more personal than I usually get, but I think it’s worth a share.  While I was pregnant I had a few scary episodes and something that helped me was reading other pregnant mothers going through a similar situation and sharing on a public forum, so I decided to do the same.  I’m by no means trying to make it out that my problems are worse than others, and mine ended up being fine, but at the time it was a trying time and through-out pregnancies we all go through many issues, this is just my story… I had a scary ultrasound that lead to a scary time that I wasn’t really comfortable sharing until I saw Cruz and held him and knew he was ok… But don’t worry, this isn’t a sad story, it has a happy ending!  So here is a little bit about what happened.

All photos are in the hospital the day after Cruz was born by Megan Welker

meganwelker-cruzjohn-95 I was 22 weeks and was going into my anatomy ultra sound, my parents were in town so we invited them to come along… There we were in that tiny ultrasound room, my parents, Nate, Court and I.  Everything was going well, we saw his heart beating strongly, he was moving around just fine, however the technician was being awfully quiet.  I had this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong, but kept putting it in the back of my head because there just couldn’t be.  Everything was fine with Court while I was pregnant, minus a few hiccups, everything was going to be fine this time!  But all pregnancies are different and I was just about to find out.  The technician told us that the doctor was going to have to come in to go over a few things with me and I knew something was up.  Court started to get antsy, we had been in there for a really long time, so I had my parents take him outside so Nate and I could talk to the doctor in private.

meganwelker-cruzjohn-25 The doctor came in to tell us that there was some fluid in Cruz’s brain.  He said that although this can be normal, it can also be a sign of down syndrome, spina bifida or a condition called hydrocephalus.  All sounded extremely scary and to be honest just hearing that there was something in his brain made my heart sink to my stomach.  The doctor however was reassuring, every thing else on Cruz was measuring normal, however they had to tell me about what could possibly happen…  They had to offer me an amnio but the doctor didn’t recommend it as the chances of that harming the baby were greater than the chances of Cruz actually having something wrong.  We set an appointment for a follow up ultrasound in 4 weeks to check on Cruz and see how he was doing and see if the fluid was still there.  I left the office keeping it together, no tears were shed, however I was beyond scared.

meganwelker-cruzjohn-82 As Nate and I drove home I of course started googling… Don’t get me wrong google is great and I use it regularly to get information, but it’s also terrible when you see just that – SO MUCH information!!  I was reading terrible things and completely lost it, the last thing you want to hear about when you are carrying your baby is that he or she could be sick or be in any type of harm.  So by the time we were home I was in tears, Nate was telling me not to worry as the doctor said not to, but I couldn’t help it.  My OB actually called me about an hour or so after we got home once she got the fax knowing I’d be worried to tell me she thought everything would be fine but that I could do a blood test that would confirm that and offer me piece of mind.  I jumped at the chance and headed over to her office then, however I wouldn’t find out the news for a few weeks… That week I had a friend’s baby shower and my sister’s wedding (which I was planning) so as you could imagine I was a little stressed, plus I had to act as if everything was a-ok, Nate and I only let our parents, my sister and my best friend know of what was going on.

meganwelker-cruzjohn-80 After 2 and a half long weeks we got the blood results that everything looked ok, however I still had to go back for a few extra ultra sounds to confirm everything was fine.  The first ultra sound they couldn’t see Cruz’s brain because of the way he was positioned, so we had to schedule another!  More waiting!!  after 10 long weeks we got to see Cruz again and confirm that he looked healthy and totally fine.  A huge sigh of relief at 32 weeks!  As a mom I honestly didn’t feel completely ok until he was born and knew everything was fine, and that is just how connected we are to our babies, something that’s hard to explain…  Growing a baby inside of you is like nothing else, you feel all sorts of emotions – happiness, fear, love, desperation, and immense responsibility.  I’m sure so many of you reading have had scares like this, this was just one of mine… It’s incredibly wearing on your body, mind and heart, and this time it really took me for a whirlwind!  It wasn’t only this, I also had gestational diabetes where I had to give myself insulin shots, had to do fetal monitoring twice a week and had quite the other scare right before I delivered, but that’s a whole other post, haha!!

meganwelker-cruzjohn-104 In the end the love for our babies is like no other from the very beginning and the worrying as a parent starts then too… I am so happy Cruz is happy and healthy, I’m sure there will be tons of more scares as my boys grow up, I mean they are boys!!!  But this one ended up just fine with lots of love and support from my family and friends.  I hope this helps someone out there who may be going through something similar have piece of mind and feel better about their situation.

meganwelker-cruzjohn-32 xx

Jacquelyn

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By on October 6, 2016 in REAL TALK

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